Author: Chauhan, Anuja
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‘She’s as chunnt as they come. Does yoga the whole day so she’s as supple as a snake.
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‘Boobie padding,’ she replies shortly. Let him make of that what he wants. ‘How, uh, uplifting,’ he murmurs, then bends to kiss her carelessly on the cheek.
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‘First toh he got a Happytietis B,’ she recounts sorrowfully. ‘I thought it would make him little bit happy, but no, it made him so sick and fereved and septick!
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Over at Hailey Court, Chachiji is trading tea for sympathy.
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Traffic, the greatest leveller in Mumbai, ensures that he reaches his apartment a good hour later and in a foul mood.
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‘We’ll act like there’s no history at all. No physics—no chemistry. Like Salman Khan never even met Aishwarya, okay?’
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He sounds like he’s swallowed a Roget’s Thesaurus, Eshwari thinks, flustered, as she hears ‘heartfelt’ and ‘tremendous loss’ and ‘commiserate’ roll off his tongue in a voice that is much deeper than she remembers. The Kindle version clearly, because it hasn’t given him a paunch. Damn, he looks good. But that’s okay—so does she. Not that this is a competition.
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When he saw her through the shop window, sipping her Pepsi, her hair trailing everywhere, a pile of pink tinsel glowing at her feet, he felt like a lucky mortal who had been granted a vision of a goddess.
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The ladies retort tartily that haan haan, if all the people who had left acres of land behind in Pakistan and come empty-handed to India were to be believed, then Pakistan’s area in square kilometres would be bigger than Africa’s.
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‘I was the only one who remembered the rucksack,’ she says proudly. ‘Everybody else forgot.’ Because there was money in it, the rest of the sisters think in a moment of perfectly synchronized thought.
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‘Ask me nicely. Like how you ask people to do stuff at shoots—all nice and polite and considerate. Why are you so nice to other people and so mean to me?’