How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

Author: Adams, Scott

• Every person finds his or her own special formula.’

• Did my strategy make a difference, or is luck just luck, and everything else is just rationalization? Honestly, I don’t know. That’s why I suggest you compare my story with the stories of other people who found success and see if you notice any patterns.

• This is not an advice book. If you’ve ever taken advice from a cartoonist, there’s a good chance it didn’t end well.

• I’m not too proud to admit that given a choice between saying what’s true and saying what’s funny, I’ll take the path with the greatest entertainment value.

• Realistically, most people have poor filters for sorting truth from fiction, and there’s no objective way to know if you’re particularly good at it or not.

• When it comes to any big or complicated question, humility is the only sensible point of view.

• Consistency is the best marker of truth that we have, imperfect though it may be.

• The central genius of capitalism is that all of its complexities, all of the differences across companies, all of the challenges, decisions, successes, and failures can be boiled down into one number: profits.

• You can debate the morality of viewing profits as the top priority in business, but you can’t argue that it doesn’t work.

• When you stand in front of an audience, your sensation of time is distorted. That’s why inexperienced presenters speak too rapidly.

• My boss, who had been a commercial lender for over thirty years, said the best loan customer is one who has no passion whatsoever, just a desire to work hard at something that looks good on a spreadsheet.

• Passionate people who fail don’t get a chance to offer their advice to the rest of

• Passionate people who fail don’t get a chance to offer their advice to the rest of us.

• But objectively, my passion level moved with my

• Energy is good. Passion is bullshit.

• The market rewards execution, not ideas.

• Then he offered me some career advice. He said that every time he got a new job, he immediately started looking for a better one.

• For him, job seeking was not something one did when necessary. It was an ongoing process.

• This was my first exposure to the idea that one should have a system instead of a goal. The system was to continually look for better options.

• To put it bluntly, goals are for losers. That’s literally true most of the time.

• In the world of dieting, losing twenty pounds is a goal, but eating right is a system.

• our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future.

• For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run.

• you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting

• If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.

• Observers call him lucky. What I see is a man who accurately identified his skill set and chose a system that vastly increased his odds of getting “lucky.”

• I learned by observation that people who pursued extraordinarily unlikely goals were overly optimistic at best, delusional at worst, and just plain stupid most of the time.

• had ignored my father’s advice to work for the Postal Service. That turned out to be a good idea. I got into college without much help from my guidance counselor, and I stayed in school against my doctor’s advice. This was about the time that my opinion of experts, and authority figures in general, began a steady descent that continues to this day.

• I had ignored my father’s advice to work for the Postal Service. That turned out to be a good idea. I got into college without much help from my guidance counselor, and I stayed in school against my doctor’s advice. This was about the time that my opinion of experts, and authority figures in general, began a steady descent that continues to this day.

• This was about the time that my opinion of experts, and authority figures in general, began a steady descent that continues to this day.

• Little did they realize that looking good on paper was my best skill.

• This was the first time I realized how attracted I am to controversy.

• If you want success, figure out the price, then pay

• If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.

• If you do selfishness right, you automatically become a net benefit to society.

• The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time with your family and friends.

• Influence works best when the person being influenced has no objection to the suggested change.

• I’m simply your cartoonist friend telling you that generous people take care of their own needs first.

• Being selfish doesn’t mean being a sociopath.

• Being selfish doesn’t mean being a sociopath. It just means you take the long view of things.

• Apparently humans are wired to take care of their own needs first, then family, tribe, country, and the world, roughly in that order.

• The healthiest way to look at selfishness is that it’s a necessary strategy when you’re struggling.

• We humans want many things: good health, financial freedom, accomplishment, a great social life, love, sex, recreation, travel, family, career, and more.

• The problem with all of this wanting is that the time you spend chasing one of those desires is time you can’t spend chasing any of the

• The problem with all of this wanting is that the time you spend chasing one of those desires is time you can’t spend chasing any of the others.

• When I get my personal energy right, the quality of my

• When I get my personal energy right, the quality of my work is better, and I can complete it faster.

• Like art, you know it when you see

• Like art, you know it when you see it.

• Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over

• Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time.

• Like capitalism, some forms of selfishness are enlightened.

• Optimizing works often enough to reinforce the habit.

• If the situation involves communication with others, simplification is almost always the right answer. If the task is something you can do all by yourself, or with a partner who is on your wavelength, optimizing might be a better path if you can control most variables in the situation.

• Likewise, it’s a good idea to dedicate certain sitting positions and certain work spaces to work and other spaces to relaxation or play.

• When you start asking questions, you often discover that there’s a simple solution, a Web site that

• When you start asking questions, you often discover that there’s a simple solution,

• When you piss off the people around you, there is bound to be some blowback and wasted effort cleaning up the mess you made.

• you ruin yourself, you won’t be able to work on any other priorities. So taking care of your own health is job one.

• If you ruin yourself, you won’t be able to work on any other priorities. So taking care of your own health is job one.

• If you don’t get your personal financial engine working right, you place a burden on everyone from your family to the country.

• You can’t tell your boss that your assignment will be late because you want to go for a long, healthy walk.

• Right choices can be challenging, but they usually charge you up. When you’re on the right path, it feels right, literally.

• You can control your attitude by manipulating your thoughts, your body, and your environment.

• Exercise, food, and sleep should be your first buttons to push if you’re trying to elevate your attitude and raise your energy.

• The power of daydreaming is similar to the power of well-made movies that can make you cry or make you laugh.

• Realistically, the last advice you want to hear when you are in a terrible mood is

• Realistically, the last advice you want to hear when you are in a terrible mood is “Think of something happy.”

• A powerful variation on the daydreaming method involves working on projects that have a real chance of changing the world,

• When one idea failed, I usually had two more to take its place.

• When you’ve tasted success, you want more. And the wanting gives you the sort of energy that is critical to success.

• Are humans so different from dogs in terms of having totally flawed assumptions about reality, and do our flawed assumptions work for reasons we don’t understand?

• We’ve all had the experience of meeting someone for the first time and having a wildly inaccurate first impression, which in turn drives the way we act.

• We now know that every generation before us was wrong about a lot of

• We now know that every generation before us was wrong about a lot of it.

• Reality is overrated and impossible to understand with any degree of certainty.

• Persistence is useful, but there’s no point in being an idiot about it.

• If your work inspires some excitement and some action from customers, get ready to chew through some walls. You might have something worth fighting for.

• It makes more sense to craft a life plan for yourself that embraces your natural inclinations, assuming you’re not a cannibal.

• The Success Formula: Every Skill You Acquire Doubles Your Odds of Success

• As is often the case, simplicity trumps accuracy.

• If you think extraordinary talent and a maniacal pursuit of excellence are necessary for success, I say that’s just one approach, and probably the hardest.

• Another huge advantage of learning as much as you can in different fields is that the more concepts you understand, the easier it is to learn new ones.

• The idea I’m promoting here is that it helps to see the world as math and not magic.

• The most important is the transformative power of praise versus the corrosive impact of criticism.

• When you understand the power of honest praise (as opposed to bullshitting, flattery, and sucking up), you realize that withholding it borders on immoral.

• My best guess is that there are a few hundred rules in psychology that you should have a passing familiarity with.

• Every psychological trap on this list can be used to manipulate you. If there’s something on this list that you’re not familiar with, you’re vulnerable to deception.

• You’ve heard the old saying that knowledge is power. But knowledge of psychology is the purest form of that power.

• It is tremendously useful to know when people are using reason and when they are rationalizing the irrational.

• you’re perplexed at how society can tolerate politicians who lie so blatantly, you’re thinking of people as rational beings.

• If you’re perplexed at how society can tolerate politicians who lie so blatantly, you’re thinking of people as rational beings.

• If your view of the world is that people use reason for their important decisions, you are setting yourself up for a life of frustration and confusion.

• Rational behavior is especially useless in any situation that is too complex for a human to grasp.

• Business writing is also the foundation for humor writing. Unnecessary words and passive writing kill the timing of humor the same way they kill the persuasiveness of your point.

• For example, landscape designers will tell you that it’s better to put three of the same kind of bush in your yard, not two and not four. Odd numbers just look better in that context.

• The most common is the L-shaped layout. You imagine a giant letter L on the page and fill in the dense stuff along its shape, leaving less clutter in one of the four open quadrants. Artists call the uncluttered part negative space.

• That person wants to talk about something interesting and to sound knowledgeable. Your job is to make that

• That person wants to talk about something interesting and to sound knowledgeable. Your job is to make that easy.

• When you ask a stranger a personal question, you make that person happy.

• People are predisposed to liking attractive people.

• As a writer, I reflexively translate whatever I observe into a story form with a setup, a twist if there is one, and some sort of punch line or thought that ties it in a bow.

• For example, if I know I’ll be seeing friends in a few days, I make a special note to myself to turn my recent experiences into story form because I know I’ll have a reason to bust one

• For example, if I know I’ll be seeing friends in a few days, I make a special note to myself to turn my recent experiences into story form because I know I’ll have a reason to bust one out.

• Your story isn’t a story unless something unexpected or unusual happens. That’s the plot twist. If you don’t have a twist, it’s not a story.

• People who appear outgoing are usually employing a learned social skill that you think is somehow natural.

• Observe outgoing people and steal their little tricks if you can.

• I also find it helpful to remind myself that every human is a mess on the inside.

• No matter how smart you are, educated people will think you’re a moron if your grammar is lacking.

• When you talk about the hypothetical future, use “were” instead of “was.” Don’t say, “If I was to go with you, I would enjoy myself.” Say, “If I were to go with you, I would enjoy myself.” This rule of grammar is a big one. If you get “were”/“was” grammar wrong, it’s a red flag to people who know the difference.

• “If I was to go with you, I would enjoy myself.” Say, “If I were to go with you, I would enjoy myself.”

• Most people misuse the word “hopefully.” It’s bad grammar to say, “Hopefully, she will bring the dessert.” “Hopefully” should be an adverb. Say instead, “We waited hopefully for dessert.”

• The simple rule for “I” versus “me” is that the sentence has to make sense if you remove the other person mentioned in the sentence.

• For example, it’s bad grammar to say, “I have less friends than before.”

• Nonscientists often use the word “theory” when they should say “hypothesis.”

• Being a good persuader is like having a magic power.

• And it might feel creepy and manipulative if you find yourself too skilled at persuasion.

• There’s no argument against a lack of interest.

• Instead, say something like “I don’t do food festivals.” And if anyone asks why, say, “I’m just not interested.” Some of these persuasive sentences work well in tandem.

• For example, let’s say you have a lunch scheduled with a potential client and your obnoxious coworker asks if he can join you. Honesty won’t work because you have to coexist with your coworker. Instead, say something along the lines of “I have a rule of only doing one-on-one lunches with clients.”

• In many cases the clarification you receive will actually be an entirely new and more rational plan. No one likes to be proven wrong, but most people will be happy to “clarify,” even if the clarification is a complete reversal of an earlier position.

• When you deputize someone to be your problem solver, you create a situation in which he or she has a clear payoff: Helping nice people always feels good.

• The trainer admitted that the key to her superior results with dogs was partly snack quality. A thank-you is like a treat for a human.

• Any thank-you is better than none, but you’re missing an opportunity if you do a poor job of it. It’s the sort of thing people remember when they decide whom they want to work with, pick for a team, or invite to a party.

• Cults are a good example of insanity being viewed as leadership.

• In any kind of negotiation, the worst thing you can do is act reasonable. Reasonable people generally cave in to irrational people because it seems like the path of least resistance.

• For example, you might demand that a deal be closed before the holidays so you can announce it to your family as a holiday present. When you bring in an emotional dimension, people know they can’t talk you out of it. Emotions don’t bend to reason. So wrap your arguments in whatever emotional blankets you can think of to influence others. A little bit of irrationality is a powerful thing.

• If you see persuasion as a form of manipulation, and you see manipulation as a form of evil, that worldview will keep you from being as persuasive as you might

• If you see persuasion as a form of manipulation, and you see manipulation as a form of evil, that worldview will keep you from being as persuasive as you might be.

• If you put your hand on your belly button and breathe correctly, that’s the only part of your torso that should be rising and falling. If your upper chest is expanding when you breathe normally, you’re doing it wrong.

• I also like to form full sentences in my head before I start them, at least whenever that’s an option. And when I know a topic is likely to come up in the near future, I practice entire conversations in my head until I can speak my thoughts fluently.

• I’m not a fan of physical risks, but if you can’t handle the risk of embarrassment, rejection, and failure, you need to learn how, and studies suggest that is indeed a learnable skill.1

• My observation and best guess is that experts are right about 98 percent of the time on the easy stuff but only right 50 percent of the time on anything that is unusually complicated, mysterious, or even new.

• You become like the people around you.

• The only reasonable goal in life is maximizing your total lifetime experience of something called happiness.

• And you know from your own experience that some people seem to be happy no matter what is going on in their lives, while others can’t find happiness no matter how many things are going right.

• For starters, the single biggest trick for manipulating your happiness chemistry is being able to do what you want, when you want.

• The timing of things can be more important than the intrinsic value of the things.

• You need to control the order and timing of things to be happy.

• In your personal life and your career, consider schedule flexibility when making any big decision.

• Happiness has more to do with where you’re heading than where you are. A person who is worth two billion dollars will feel sad if he suddenly loses one billion because he’s moving in the wrong direction, even if the change has no impact on his ability to buy what he wants.

• We tend to feel happy when things are moving in the right direction

• Pessimism is often a failure of imagination.

• I’m here to tell you that the primary culprit in your bad moods is a deficit in one of the big five: flexible schedule, imagination, sleep, diet, and exercise.

• No one wants to believe that the formula for happiness is as simple as daydreaming, controlling your schedule, napping, eating right, and being active every day.

• You probably think your mood is caused by what’s happening in your life, not the starchy food you ate for lunch.